Not What It Seems

I went to the doctor today to have my knee checked....you see, I had a pretty bad fall last weekend down some cement stairs and man did it hurt! Not only do I have multiple bruises on my arms, legs, hip, even my finger, but I also had a humbled pride as well (I was also wearing a skirt so you can imagine my humiliation haha). Anyway my doctor asked me all sorts of questions about pain, what hurts, what doesn't, checked swelling, etc., and I had some x-rays done. But I have to be honest, my knee doesn't LOOK affected at all but was the most painful after the fall. She gave me some anti-inflammatory pills and said they'd call about the x-rays. Sometimes people are the same way, they look fine on the outside but on the inside they're screaming out in pain. All they need is a little relief, someone to talk to, someone to pray for them, something to make them feel better. A girl in youth group this past Monday looked just fine and happy but once I asked if she needed prayer for anything she went from an instant transition from "happy" to not being able to stop crying. Then again, Frankie and I made a friend at the Rite Aid by my apartment and we decided to stop in to see if he was working. On the outside it was just a friendly hello, but as we talked with our friend we found out he was a Christian and it ended up being a mini time of encouragement. I encourage you to look a little deeper. After the outside layer is peeled back and the facade broken down, you may find a deep hurt you can help heal, or a situation which needs prayer, maybe even a soul who needs saving.

Good Crops

I've been thinking about a particular section of scripture tonight. Isaiah 5:1-2, "I will sing for the one I love a song about his vineyard: My loved one had a vineyard on a fertile hillside. He dug it up and cleared it of stones and planted it with the choicest vines. He built a watchtower in it and cut out a winepress as well. Then he looked for a crop of good grapes, but it yielded only bad fruit."

Your life is cleaned, de-weeded (is that a word? haha), and cleared of stones by the Life Gardener. He knows exactly what you need and provides. He provides water, food, light, shade, protection from the enemy, and even provides your life with the things you need to fill into the lives of others. But when He comes searching for a crop will you have done anything with those things He's provided? It's so easy to be so happy with where you're at that it's not even contentment anymore....it turns into indifference, sometimes even laziness. PT talked about taking risks, and to stay on the ball sometimes we have to take chances. God takes a chance on us. Not that He NEEDS us, but He still uses us and by doing so truly takes a chance on giving us responsibilities which He is fully capable of doing Himself. Why does He do that? He knows we screw up all the time, and Heknows we are dreadfully prone to sin. But He uses us because, what purpose would we have in life if it weren't for the purpose of God? He knows we're nothing without Him, and we know it too. It seems kind of harsh but that's the reality of it. So allow God to not only tend to your vineyard but also take the same risk God takes on us....step out and use the gifts He's given so that your life will be overflowing with rivers of living water (or wine, whichever you prefer (::gasp:::you lush...haha)), so that God won't find a bad crop in the vineyard He's prepared for you.

When Nothing Satisfies

I have been saved for 18 years. I prayed with my mom when I was four years old, I still remember what it was like outside and the sound of my mom's voice as she led me to salvation. Looking back on my childhood I remember numerous times where my heart was overwhelmed with love for Jesus. I didn't know much about life or the depth of God, and I didn't have great knowledge about the Bible. But one thing remained the same from then until now as a 22-year-old woman, and that is the fulfillment I have found in Christ. When I was 4 I was innocent and naive, but all the better for I was able to receive with an open the heart without the world tainting my mind and thoughts. Now with the world pressing in every day I look back to those simple times and reflect on what the Lord has done. Life has changed, times have changed, I have changed, but God has not. When I need refreshing and nothing satisfies the longing in my heart for something more I remember the days of my childhood and therein remember the Love of my life, my first Love, the everlasting Father who will never change. So when nothing satisfies you, which nothing ever really will, look to God and He will close in on the longing in your heart. Then you'll have found or remembered what truly satisfies.

Speak Up!

Today at church we had a quiet time to sit and reflect on our lives, you know just a little time to pray and ask the Lord where we need change. Sometimes I feel kind of weird when we have these moments, not because I feel awkward with God or because I think I'm perfect but because I'm always close to laughing at the ridiculous things God reveals to me. They aren't ridiculous because I think I don't really need change but because God reveals things that are so obvious but we are so clueless! Haha! Well I realize about myself that I don't like verbalizing things. Certain things I do, sure, like, "It's Christmas!" or "My birthday's tomorrow!". But in life there are a lot of things that I feel if I say something, they really will be concrete.....I will be held accountable to my word and it scares me sometimes. I suppose it's a good thing because then I actually think about what I say before I say it, but then it can also hurt when something needs to be said and I don't say it. You know that book The Five Love Languages? Well I am pretty sure mine isn't words of affirmation because it's hard for me to believe people when they say things....I guess words have hurt me so much in the past that I've come to believe words are cheap and unless you follow your words with action it means nothing to me. Funny because I know I've lacked in action after words came out of my mouth. So, God showed me that, through the Holy Spirit, my words can offer life, they can give peace, and being held accountable is a horrible reason to not say anything. I love encountering these everyday or weekly lessons.....even when they're irritating because they show my humanity, I laugh and praise God for them!

Willing

2 Corinthians 8: 11-12

"11Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. 12For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have. "

I like how this is worded, "so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it." Whatever it is that's being done, do you have an eager willingness to do it? Think about that last stretch in a race, the last 30 minutes of a long day at work, or the last hour of a long drive. Let your willingness to finish the task be as urgent as your desire to be done with it. We can easily have a strong desire to be done with something, but it takes effort to actually be willing to put our heart into the completion of it. When willingness is there we reap abundantly because a good attitude always produces more fruit. What we reap is a gift to the Lord, and He accepts it because it's from us living as a worship offering to Him.

God, I'm willing. My will is broken in light of all the plans You've ordained for my life. I rejoice in the grace you've extended to me, and I step forward with joy knowing you have already gone before me. My heart is Yours, Jesus, take it and fill it with desire, passion, and drive only You can give. With eager willingness I look forward to what You have in store!

Humbled

I feel humbled today. Life is a blessing and sometimes it seems like everything couldn't be better, and then I open my eyes and realize some things have been neglected. Sure I get up and do my devotions every day. I pray, I want to follow God with my whole heart and just when I feel like my spiritual life couldn't be better, God rips that pride out of my hand. It isn't depressing, it's a good thing, and a necessary thing.

I made what's called demi-glace in school once. It's meant to be brought to a slow boil and then simmered for hours. If it boils it'll get grainy. In a moment of mindlessness I forgot to turn down the heat and the result was grainy. I let it go too far, and my hard work was no longer a thing to be praised but something to be fixed. Luckily there was a way to fix it....sure it wasn't "perfect" like I'd hoped, but it was still good. As a second-year student in the culinary program I was humbled, but I had another chance to fix what was wrong. It was necessary for my to learn to be careful next time.

Our daily walk is about Jesus, not about others, or about us, if it's anything else but Jesus pride slips in. Don't let your mind trick to you to believe it's anything else but about God.