Speak Up!

Today at church we had a quiet time to sit and reflect on our lives, you know just a little time to pray and ask the Lord where we need change. Sometimes I feel kind of weird when we have these moments, not because I feel awkward with God or because I think I'm perfect but because I'm always close to laughing at the ridiculous things God reveals to me. They aren't ridiculous because I think I don't really need change but because God reveals things that are so obvious but we are so clueless! Haha! Well I realize about myself that I don't like verbalizing things. Certain things I do, sure, like, "It's Christmas!" or "My birthday's tomorrow!". But in life there are a lot of things that I feel if I say something, they really will be concrete.....I will be held accountable to my word and it scares me sometimes. I suppose it's a good thing because then I actually think about what I say before I say it, but then it can also hurt when something needs to be said and I don't say it. You know that book The Five Love Languages? Well I am pretty sure mine isn't words of affirmation because it's hard for me to believe people when they say things....I guess words have hurt me so much in the past that I've come to believe words are cheap and unless you follow your words with action it means nothing to me. Funny because I know I've lacked in action after words came out of my mouth. So, God showed me that, through the Holy Spirit, my words can offer life, they can give peace, and being held accountable is a horrible reason to not say anything. I love encountering these everyday or weekly lessons.....even when they're irritating because they show my humanity, I laugh and praise God for them!