Dry Bones

This week my family and I are in Alabama on vacation. We're right on the beach in a gorgeous penthouse condo overlooking the ocean. I've had some precious time with God on this trip, appreciating the beautiful creation around me. We've watched a few movies while we've been here, "Bordertown" and "The Last Sin Eater". Both movies are very different from each other but similar in point. There is a truth out there that people are starving for, in a world full of evil a deceit people are walking with the veil over their eyes. After watching these movies I felt so sad but comforted. Sad because our world is so evil, but comforted because of the truth that sets us free.....it's just a matter of spreading that truth for all to know and receive. I conveniently came upon Ezekiel 37 in my reading, the valley of dry bones. God blew life into those bones, bringing them to life through Ezekiel. Ezekiel is us, and God is waiting to use us if we will just listen and obey. I'm leaving for Haiti in 4 days, and the anticipation is growing. I want to be God's tool, to bring truth into the wanting hearts and breath life into dead souls. Even if it's just touching one or two lives, I know God will be using me to do His will. I can't wait!

Billy Blanks and Tamilee Webb are cooler than Hillary Clinton

I went and voted today. It was thrilling. I think there were about 5 other people in there at the same time as me, I'm hoping more went to the poles to vote after work! I hate presidential elections...I mean I'm grateful we get to choose our leader, but I hate it because none of the candidates are ever going to be perfectly aligned with what we want. All I know is that I never want to see Hillary Clinton in office, she is a crazy woman and is evil....just look at her pictures, she has this creepy little smirk on her face all the time!!

And I'm certainly ready for some warmer weather and sunnier days; this grayness is starting to take its toll on me. I woke up this morning and laid in bed for about 30 minutes doing nothing....and then progressed into my day with some excercise (You would think Tamilee Webb would be old by now...in the 80's she was thriving in her spandex underwear and beige hose with those white, scrunched socks.....I was surprised to see a recent workout video she did a couple years back....she is still a stick and looks like she's 20.....what is that all about?), then some laundry and cleaning in the house, and then did some shopping for work and voted. I got home and my mom gently reminded me that we have a tea house meeting tonight where I snapped, "I know....." with that punky little attitude I get sometimes. It was at this point that I realized I'm not just ready for a change of weather but a change of life in general.

I'm sick of just living the mundane, plugging away through every day just to get to the next. I'm worried that on the missions trip I'll be working every day just to get closer to getting back home, where I feel the same way only I don't know where I'm working towards. Does this make any sense? I start wishing I had some certain calling, like how people feel when they're called to the ministry or to be a singer or an interpretive dancer...hahaha....okay maybe not the dancer, but you get the idea. I know, I know.....I'm called to be a chef. I know it's my calling. But I sometimes feel like it's not enough.....like I'm missing out on something. Will I do it forever? I don't know. Which makes me wonder, should I go back to school for something else, just in case? Ugh. It disgusts me sometimes. It disgusts me that I'm so unable to focus on where God has me now and live every day FOR that day, and enjoy it, and not just to get to the next day.

On a lighter note, today during my workout (Tae Bo rocks...haha) Billy Blanks said, "Now, you're stinky, hairy leg should always be bent!" I started laughing and was like, "what?" Silly me, he said, "Your stationary leg should always be bent." I think he's cool. And Tamilee. I like them better than Hillary.

Feed Me!!

We can all relate to being hungry. The other day I was so hungry I felt like I could eat a cow....I was working all day and even though I'm around food non-stop I never really feel like eating it. So I hadn't eaten anything. Frankie and I went to Red Robin that night and I seriously downed my entire burger....I'm not sure I've ever done that at Red Robin, I mean those burgers are big! It was funny, Frankie ordered a salad and the waiter who brought us our food naturally thought I ordered the salad, and Frankie the burger....that's a good way to make a girl feel like a heifer, haha!......

Anyway, I was really happy to get food. Eating is so much better when you're famished. But not everyone can just eat when they're hungry.....when I go to Haiti in March I believe I'll be seeing a lot of that kind of poverty. Worse than physical poverty is spiritual poverty. Lamentations 4:4 says, "Because of thirst the infant's tongue sticks to the rood of its mouth; the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them." New believers are at such a risk of this, not being fed spiritually and even if they beg for that spiritual food the mature believers are so consumed in their own growth that they go unnoticed. One of my great fears is that I will overlook the needs of another believer because of my own. Doesn't the Bible say to put others before ourselves? It's even a common thing for grown believers who once believed crave something more, and because of their own intellect find themselves in dire need of some sort of spiritual fulfillment, but are looking into their own minds rather than the truth of God's love. Their tongues stick to the roof of their mouths and they crave bread, something to fill their empty stomachs, but nothing can really satisfy that emptiness except the real deal......it's like drinking pop instead of water, you can take in all you want but it only makes your thirst worse. Those tricky pop companies!!

Nothing-ness

In honor of my super annoying brother-in-law, I've decided to post a blog about nothing in particular. He yells at me for posting about things which end on a positive note and are encouraging/teaches some sort of lesson....I think he suggested writing with rage....rage....RAGE!!!

It's hard for me to write in rage because I'm never really mad, but I can tell you about the last time I was mad. I was playing euchre with my sister, Jon, Amy, and I have just learned the basics of the game so naturally I'm not very good. SO, after being totally lost and being told what cards to play the entire game by Andy I was getting tired of the game but couldn't stop till the entire round was over. In a moment of irrational irritation I lashed out at my beloved Frankie when he was trying to call me to say hi....So what did I learn through this? That when I am learning something new and don't understand it right away and don't catch on really super fast, I get really mad. I think it's probably a pride/insecurity issue so that's interesting...

I was also thinking about marriage the other day and what it'll be like. Frankie told me he expects me to cut his toenails, do thorough cleanings of the house every day using a toothbrush for detailed cleaning, cook at least 3 meals a day (with a minimum of 4 courses each), pluck his eyebrows, do all his laundry, birth at least 5 kids in the first 3 years of marriage, and paint self-portraits of him every year to hang in the hallways of our house. I also expect a lot from him though, I mean I expect at least one vacation a month to places like Hawaii, France, Italy, Spain, and Ireland, lots of expensive jewelry, a box of chocolates every Monday morning by my pillow, serenade me every night before bed, rub my feet at the end of every day, a back rub every other night, and a monthly allowance of $2,000 for clothing. I think we're off to a good start....;)

My dad makes the volume on the TV so loud I think I'll go deaf before this blog is over.

I think it's funny that they put instructions on a pill package telling you what to do with the pill. What else would you do with it? Do you pick up your pills and crush them up and use them for seasoning in your food? Here's a recipe for success: crush up some prozac and use it like a sandwich sprinkle or like you would salt. Salt is actually a food enhancer, it opens up your tastebuds to let in more flavor....it's the same concept, it's like salt, it just enhances your happy-factor. What else would you do with your pill besides swallow it? Let's see....you could use it to play finger football, you know where you make the triangle with paper? Or you could use colace pills in a muffin recipe...that's a tasty treat for someone you don't like very much! You could make a pretty collage out of vitamin supplements. The possibilities are endless.

Oh wow, it's over and I'm not deaf...

My Home Church

Bedford Christian Community has been my home church for 7 amazing years. I've gone through so many good and bad times, both challenging and sometimes grueling, but BCC has always been my place of refuge and encouragement through all of those times. I never had it stuck in my mind that I'd stay at the same church my whole life, simply because I never knew, or thought that I knew, what the future would hold or where God would take me. Well this past Sunday I spent the morning at Faith Christian Assembly, the church I will be going to after Frankie and I tie the knot in September! My heart feels so torn sometimes, when you're faced with a situation where you lose something you love but gain something you love in return, it's such a bittersweet thing. I can't express my joy about going to FCA; it's going to be an amazing time of growth and new challenges, which Frankie and I will face as a married couple and as a team as we lead the young adults ministry there. I look back and can't believe how all the things I've been involved in and been a part of at BCC have prepared me for this point, where I'll be helping in the same areas at Faith. Isn't it cool to look back and see how God has prepared us and we don't even realize it until the crossroad comes?

Just like we discussed in youth group last night that we're all a piece of the puzzle of God's plan, so is every talent and ability we possess, every issue we face, and every mountain and valley we experience throughout life. Whether it's a lifestyle change or a change of mindset, it's all a part of God's master puzzle for our life, and our one life is a little piece in the master puzzle of His plan. So I'm changing churches.....I'm blessed to say I've been a part of Bedford, and I thank Pastors Nate and Rick, Wendy and Beth, Vanessa, Lauren, and Mike and Pam Hardy, for the leadership they've shown and impact they've had on my life while I've been at BCC.

I know these next 7 months are going to fly by so I felt this on my heart tonight....I just wanted to share with all of you BCC-ers how much I love you and appreciate you! Ephesians 1:16 "I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers."

Provision

In the past month I've thought more about politics than I ever have, even more than the last presidential election. Last time I went to vote on November 2 (my birthday), and I was turning 21. I had asked my dad who he was going to vote for so I write it all down and voted like my dad! Haha, lame I know, but I trust my dad's opinion. But this time I've thought about the candidates and I won't say my stance because politics can get very emotional for some people.....all I know is it's got me thinking about our world today. We all know we're in the last days. It's obvious and all around us, someone was even talking about the economy and how our nation is well on its way to the next Great Depression. The more I thought about all these things the worse I felt, and was starting to feel really depressed. But as I read my Bible the other the day the Lord comforted me with these words:

"You still the hunger of those you cherish; their sons have plenty, and they store up wealth for their children. And I—in righteousness I will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness." ~Psalm 17:14b-15

All I can say is that I am so grateful to have my faith in Christ to fall back on! No matter what happens, whether the U.S. falls into another depression or not God will always provide for His children. And either way, we can wake up every day and be satisfied with looking around and seeing God's likeness in the world around us and the provision He brings.

Joys of the Past

It is a new year! It's only the second week in January and time has flown by. Getting engaged over Christmas was definitely the highlight of the past few weeks, and already the planning has begun. We booked Nazareth Hall for the ceremony and reception, we've also booked the photographer, the florist, we've bought my dress and chosen the bridesmaid dresses. I feel like time is going so fast. I realized today that this Christmas was my last Christmas at home.....and even that is not really fair to say since I've been living in an apartment since September. As I was taking Christmas ornaments down, putting away the nativity, rolling up the lights, I felt really sentimental about my family's tree. It's totally hodge podge, with huge colored lights and a gaudy star which lights up and changes colors. But that's what I grew up with, and I wouldn't want it any other way!

Four of us kids have grown up in this house, switched rooms numerous times, been homeschooled, learned how to play baseball in the front yard and basketball in the driveway, practiced serves for volleyball against the garage door, learned how to swim in the pool which sadly died a few years back, and I will never forget when we bought the swingset, which still stands strong in the back yard. Four family pets have come and gone, grandkids have found their footing in these rooms, and old pictures reflect the change of styles this home has had over the years. I've been thinking about how times change and how different we were all ten years ago. I used to ask my mom, "Mom, how do I know when God speaks to me?" I would agonize over this issue, even cry at times, longing for God to speak to me, that an audible voice would come and fill my yearning. Though I understand now what it's like when God speaks to me, thinking about how I used to agonize over it when I was young reminded me that no matter how old we get, those questions from long ago are evidence of the thirst only God can fill. Though I don't ask those questions anymore, no person or thing can ever fill what God is only suited for. No matter how much in love you are or how dedicated to your job, or how excited you are about the future, God is ultimately the only one thing you will find true and pure life in. You will find that even in your most joyful times, if your life isn't centered on Christ, you won't feel it like God wants you to. Let's keep Him in the center, and in doing so experience true joy!!

Isaiah 55:12 "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands."